On Community

Happy Spring to all of my pals, both real and imaginary.

This new year has been a tumultuous one for me, as for many others that find themselves in my peculiar seat. I've seen a lot of things come and go in the last few months, as many changes as I can bear to watch. Thanks to [REDACTED], I've found myself [REDACTED], which I don't think has really set in quite yet.

While I've been struggling to keep the sadness and immense anger away, one thing that I repeatedly find comfort in is community.

In the last few weeks, the conversations I've struck with strangers and almost-acquaintances has again and again found themselves winding back to the thing that is happening to me and the event unfolding around me. And every time, these strangers and almost-acquaintances have reached out with hearts of kind, have folded arms around me and invited me to their warmth.

For them, these moments may just be a drunk random act of kindness at a bar, or a few easy words exchanged at a farmer's market or in a classroom; but to me, these words have been a lifeline in an otherwise dark and depressing reality. In the midst of all the negative feelings I try to squash down over [REDACTED], the people I am fortunate enough to meet and know are lighting a fire in me that keeps the fight alive.

These exchanges have left me thinking a lot about community, and what it means to be part of one in such troublesome times.

Community in any form is such an important and intrinsic facet of human nature. Since before we were us, we sought connection and protection alike from those around us, forged relationships with what was similar to what we were and wanted to be.

For most of my life I didn't feel as if I belonged to any community, always halfway in but still so out. I still feel that way most times. But the unexpected love I've felt from those around me has shown me- community has always held me. I have never been alone, I just didn't know I was allowed to talk about the things I felt.

With community also comes education, and with education comes strength. One of the conversations I had recently that left a glow in me was with a professor who has taught the same course for almost a decade. This course touches on topics that younger generations have heard about for years, but have grown tired and stale over time; the course forces us to talk about the uncomfortable realities that we like to ignore, confront the 'little tranquilizing pills of half truth' that we have been so eager to swallow. It's been an incredible place to learn and make connections between ideas and people. The course, and the professor, remind us the stakes of life, the obligation to endure, and the power of community. In the last three months, this class has moved me in ways that I know will stay with me for years to come.

Because of [REDACTED], this is the last time this course will be taught.

Never before have I felt the need to push forward more than I do now. Never have I stayed this miserable and this resilient at the same time. The happenings in the world have lit a fire in me that cannot be put out. With each therapeutic conversation among strangers, every "I'm sorry this is happening" and "I hope something changes," the fire is fed.

Nothing will change without us. We are nothing without each other. I am fortunate to be reminded of this so often. I am fortunate I have others to remind.